Nicola Vincent-Abnett

Nicola Vincent-Abnett
"Savant" for Solaris, Wild's End, Further Associates of Sherlock Holms, more Wild's End

Sunday 21 October 2012

Sex, Religion and my Twitter Feed

Someone once asked me how I  know who on my joint Twitter account with my husband is following him and who is following me. What that person clearly didn’t realise was that I have an account of my own. The difference in the number of followers on the two accounts is, as of today, 5202, which suggests that the husband has 5202 more followers than I do. This does not surprise me... Of course it doesn’t.

The husband is infinitely more interesting than I am. 

Last night, the husband suggested that he and I should start a religion and write a sex manual... That’s how interesting the husband is. I thought that was such a combination of interesting and hilarious that I tweeted about it on both of our Twitter accounts.

I tweeted:

The husband just suggested we start a religion and write a sex manual; I'm not sure which is the bigger responsibility.

Our joint twitter feed responded exactly as you’d expect with comments about L. Ron Hubbard. People offered to join up more-or-less immediately, and everyone who tweeted about it was pretty well convinced that the husband could pull off the whole religion thing. It was all very light-hearted; no one got upset about him blaspheming (and that certainly wasn’t his intention), and everyone took the tweet in the spirit it was intended. It was Saturday night for goodness sake, and it’s been a long, hard working week; we’re all allowed to let off a little steam once in a while. 

There was, on the joint feed, also a comment on the sex manual element of the tweet; it was a reference to a certain popular erotic novel that shall remain nameless, but which I have lambasted in these pages, with the word ‘Grey’ replaced with ‘Abnett’. As with the religious reference, it was intended to amuse, although the tweeter clearly hasn’t read my blog. Don’t worry, I won’t hold it against him. 

That’s how the fans, colleagues and friends of the husband rock and roll, and bloody good for them. I’m impressed. I’m always impressed by these very fine folk, all five and a half thousand, or so, of them.

I’ve got about four hundred followers of my very own, and I uploaded the very same tweet to my account... the very same one. 

For my sins, I earned several topless sex-bots.  They swell my follower numbers by roughly half-a-dozen, and will probably do so until they realise that there really is nothing for them here and they move along, and then, of course, I’ll be disappointed when my numbers drop off again, and I’ll wonder which of my precious four hundred and thirty wonderfully devoted pals can’t be bothered with me any more, because I will have forgotten that I used the word ‘sex’ in one of my tweets and unwittingly invited the bots onboard.

No one referenced Mr Hubbard, but that’s OK.

I would, however like to thank @_MikeLane who did make a premature ejaculation joke after my follow-up tweet, and very timely it was too.

So that’s the difference between the husband’s followers and mine, and there’s no jealousy, and I’m perfectly happy with my lot... Thank you for asking... But if you should happen to be interested you can always follow me @N_VincentAbnett. I can’t promise to be the most interesting contributor to your feed, but I can promise not to clutter it up all day long with banalities; honestly, I don’t have the time to do anything much more than plug my blog, and you read that anyway.

Go on... What have you got to lose?

No comments:

Post a Comment