Apparently, today, March 14th is Steak and BJ Day, by which we, obviously, mean Blow Job.
This is a day for men to celebrate, and I suppose their women too, as an antidote to Valentine’s Day, which apparently is a women’s holiday.
OK then. It never crossed my mind that men didn’t enjoy a little romance, but OK.
Women, in answer to the creation of this all fun for men celebratory madness have come up with Cake and Cunnilingus Day, which, I gather, falls on April 14th.
Valentine’s Day is fine, if you like that sort of thing, but I’ve often wondered why we need a specific day on which to celebrate our love for one another. I’m all for celebrating love every day, and I don’t need a big red cross on a calendar to remind me that I love the husband. I also don’t really want to sit in a restaurant with him, packed in with fifty or sixty other couples trying to have a romantic diner a deux. Valentine’s Day isn’t the best time to do that. The World and his wife are trying to get it on and crowds aren’t the best place for lovers. It’s impossible to get the best flowers on Valentine’s Day. The cards tend to be crass, and it’s all a bit of commercial nonsense.
It is all in the name of Romance, though, and romance is innocent enough.
Sex is something else. Food, too, in its way.
It’s about appetite isn’t it?
Appetite is personal. Appetite is wonderful. On the other hand, if you don’t have an appetite for a particular thing at a particular time or on a particular day then feeling obliged isn’t going to get it done.
If I fancy lobster or a nut roast, or ice-cream or chocolate that’s what I have an appetite for. Or, maybe I’ll have no appetite at all. That should be all well and good.
Maybe I don’t want steak today. Maybe I won’t fancy cake on the 14th of April. Maybe I’ll fancy steak tomorrow with cake for dessert. Maybe I’ll fancy steak for breakfast tomorrow, cake for lunch and steak and cake for dinner. I might fancy a midnight snack of cake... Who knows?
I might have a surf and turf day on the 14th of April. I might want a brownie or trifle. Who knows? I might go meat free for a day or two and live on fruit.
|A Cake made to look like a Steak Dinner|
What about vegetables and nuts and pulses? What if I have an appetite for them today? What about fish and eggs and cheese? What about pasta and rice and spices? What about flans and tarts and sweetmeats on the 14th of April? What about mousses and jellies and cheesecakes?
Life isn’t all steak and cake.
I hope that today men and women everywhere will listen to their appetites and not be persuaded or feel obliged to eat anything they don’t have an appetite for, and I hope the same applies on April 14th.
Steak and cake have their places, of course they do, but they hardly represent a balanced diet, now, do they?